fishing for words

Things I’ve Learned About Losing Weight, Diets and Exercise…

Can cardiovascular exercise can prolong one’s life?
Not really. Your heart is only good for so many beats and that’s it. Don’t waste it on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; it’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.

Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
No. Let’s take a look at this question with logistical efficiencies in mind. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? (Say it together now.) Vegetables. Ergo, a steak is nothing more than a more efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.

Need grain? Eat chicken.

A pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Is beer or wine bad for me?
This goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. We all know that beer and wine are not animal and they are not on the endangered species list. So have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

How can I calculate my body to fat ratio?
Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies your ratio is two to one, etc.

What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
Nope. “No Pain Is Good…”

If I stop smoking, will I live longer?
Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual statement and peace of mind. If you stop, you’ll probably stress yourself to death in record time.

Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
You’re not listening. Foods are fried in vegetable oil. How could getting more “vegetables” be bad for you?

Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
Are you crazy? When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Is chocolate bad for me?
— No! Cocoa beans are another vegetable and the best feel-good food you can find!

Hope this helps.

The current heat wave has broken.  At least here in Benicia.  Woke up last night…more accurately two a.m. this morning…to find the outside temp was lower than that in the house.  Opened most of the windows.

My apologies, still have to catch up on posting.  Haven’t finished our Disneyland trip as the heat sapped my strength, and what little I had left was sucked up by the treadmill, looking for our (apparently) lost camera and by the playing of video games.

But I promise to get back on track now that things are cooling down.  Just after I finish power washing the driveway, doing yardwork, installing the new used microwave, putting the suitcases away, cleaning the garage…

While I do still enjoy the various rides, sights and sounds in Disneyland (and the smells in California Adventure, I find myself, as an adult, more than fascinated by the “behind the scenes” aspects of world imagined by Walt and his many imagineers.. For example, nowhere in Disneyland have I seen gum (or any junk) on the walkways. Dust doesn’t settle anywhere it’s not supposed to be. Every chain and pole in the queues are shiny. Pretty amazing…

We spent most of today in California Adventure, which seems to me to be more of an overgrown carnival and can’t compare to the “experience” of Disneyland. I did enjoy Soaring Over California and the Grizzly raft ride, but the remaining rides are tuned more towards the thrill seeker. (For those who know of inclination to avoid roller coasters, I did get on Screaming Over California for one ride. And one ride on this beast was enough for me. …oh, Chris also lied to me, saying that California Screaming didn’t turn upside down. It does. I also braved out the Hollywood Tower of Terror, which wasn’t all that bad. During half the day I spent at California Adventure, I did see the Muppets 3-D show, which was fun, thought not as funny as the original Muppet Show.

It was nice to take a long break that afternoon before returning to Disneyland, where we spent the evening chasing down FastPasses.  That evening we again sat in front of It’s a Small World to watch the entire fireworks show. This time, the pathway into Toon Town was blocked off, I’m guessing to keep folks out from under the fireworks, as the trains were also stopped. In the end, we had missed only ten minutes or so the previous night, but it was good to see the whole show.

While I do still enjoy the various rides, sights and sounds in Disneyland (and the smells in California Adventure, I find myself, as an adult, more than fascinated by the “behind the scenes” aspects of world imagined by Walt and his many imagineers.. For example, nowhere in Disneyland have I seen gum (or any junk) on the walkways. Dust doesn’t settle anywhere it’s not supposed to be. Every chain and pole in the queues are shiny. Pretty amazing…

We spent most of today in California Adventure, which seems to me to be more of an overgrown carnival and can’t compare to the “experience” of Disneyland. I did enjoy Soaring Over California and the Grizzly raft ride, but the remaining rides are tuned more towards the thrill seeker. (For those who know of inclination to avoid roller coasters, I did get on Screaming Over California for one ride. And one ride on this beast was enough for me. …oh, Chris also lied to me, saying that California Screaming didn’t turn upside down. It does. I also braved out the Hollywood Tower of Terror, which wasn’t all that bad. During half the day I spent at California Adventure, I did see the Muppets 3-D show, which was fun, thought not as funny as the original Muppet Show.

It was nice to take a long break that afternoon before returning to Disneyland, where we spent the evening chasing down FastPasses.  That evening we again sat in front of It’s a Small World to watch the entire fireworks show. This time, the pathway into Toon Town was blocked off, I’m guessing to keep folks out from under the fireworks, as the trains were also stopped. In the end, we had missed only ten minutes or so the previous night, but it was good to see the whole show.

…not because of the smog on the horizon. (However, it is relatively clear.)
…not because it is hot!
…not because the last 17 miles of our trip, because of traffic, took an hour.
…but because I found my car covered by a layer of ash from the various brush fires.